what the hell?

We’re in Atlanta for a few days and went to the Georgia Aquarium today.  Chopper and Helen overheard a comment that I am just relieved that I didn’t.  We were in front of the penguin exhibit and a genius said:

“Oh look, they put bands on the penguins so they don’t fly away!”

There is no possible way I would have been able to keep my mouth shut.  Not Possible.  Some poor child is going to be traumatized later when she learns that penguins don’t fly.
Another genius comment, although not as bad, came in front of the sea lion exhibit.  “Are those fish or mammals?”

And finally: “What is that fish with the saw?” while holding a card identifying said fish as a “sawtooth shark.”

Dear Lord.  Today’s Quote of the Day from Scott Adams seems apt:  “If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”

Nope.

What cop has so little to do in his professional life that he runs the plates on the Wienermobile?  Seriously.

27-foot wiener gets cop roasted - CNN.com

This is really an exercise in seeing how long it takes Chopper to spot this and say “No.”  But seriously, a blowgun with stun darts?!?!?!  I’m so there.  It’s even better than a titanium spork, and maybe even more useful.

Blowguns and blow gun accessories, darts, paintballs

Chopper and I (well, okay, mostly me) had a good laugh at someone’s expense during this week’s podcast of Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me — a new story about an unfortunate old man who got trapped rather like a bug.  The joke was “91 year old men walk in, but they don’t walk out.”  Mean … but funny.

Occasionally, in our cubicle-filled world, we forget that it is possible to take ourselves too seriously. Such is the case with a $13+ million efficiency study conducted in the U.K., where such doppler concepts as inactive vs. active fruit were defined. I can’t make this stuff up. Don’t believe me? Here’s the article from The Mail.

What, you ask, makes a fruit (specifically noted, a banana) active? If you are going to eat said banana in the immediate future, it is active and can remain on a desktop. If the banana is inactive, e.g. meant for later consumption, it should be stowed in a desk drawer. One presumes that the desk drawer will have some ventilation to avoid spoiled fruit. An additional winner: the placement of black tape on the desktops to ensure that commonly accessed items like staplers and pens are placed in places meant to ensure ergonomic efficiency.

Now, I am as much of a fan of organization as the next person. Ask Chopper about our ongoing dispute about the appropriate placement of stuff on the kitchen table. I also own not one, but two label makers, one for work and one for home. But, in my defense, no one ever paid me $13 million to define my little quirks for every civil servant in a country.