Close Encounters of the Feathered Kind

Chopper has met his match, and he’s a parrot.

Our friend Elizabeth has left town on a trip and asked us to petsit her parrot, Url, for a few days. We’ve met Url on a couple of occasions and have gotten along well with the little fellow. I’ve dropped in to her apartment a couple of nights to feed and water him when she’s out of town, and things have always gone smoothly.

Until now.

Url and his travel cage came home with me on Wednesday with plans for him to stay until Sunday. I’m quite taken with him, and he seems to be quite comfortable with me. He will happily sit on my finger or shoulder or, my preference, on my knee and examine everything quite curiously.

My first sign that something might be up was that I reached into the back seat to get Url’s travel cage and lo and behold, no Url! He had managed to escape in the five minutes between Elizabeth’s apartment and ours and was sitting on the back of the seat. I corralled him and got him back in the cage. He escaped again within about another five minutes of his arrival in the apartment, so we spent some time figuring out how to parrot-proof the cage. In the meantime, Url sat quite happily on his portable perch and surveyed his surroundings.

Although Url and I get along well, it turns out that Url hates Chopper. There was a fair bit of posturing and snapping in the air, and then a good, genuine nip. Thus ends the attempt of Chopper to make nice with the parrot. I spent a fair bit of time that night petting him and generally having a quiet, nice time.

So, when it’s bedtime, we covered Url’s cage and everything was just fine until morning, when I removed the cover before heading to work. He was near the window and had a nice view of the birdfeeders outside, which I figured would keep him occupied during the day.

Go figure.

Sometime during the day, I get a text message to my cell phone that says, simply, “Damn Bird.”

Url got feisty when he woke up and decided to once again liberate himself from the cage. Around 9:30 AM, he begins to chirp aggressively, waking up Chopper, who went to sleep around 3 hours earlier. (For those of you who don’t know, Chopper works for a newspaper and has an evening shift.) So, Chopper headed into the living room to find the source of the noise. Url was hiding, but eventually made a mad dash across the floor. After some hijinks, Url was relocated to his portable perch and given some granola. Chopper went back to bed.

Shortly thereafter, Url made more ruckus. Chopper got up again and attempted to relocate Url back into his cage. (Granted, since Url had already made his dislike clear, Chopper was using a tea towel to catch him, so this was all a mostly-hands-free effort.) Url decided that he would rather climb up the side of the cage and sit on top. This was fine with Chopper, who once again hit the sack … only to come back to Url’s persistent chirping.

This time the corralling was successful and Url ended up in his travel cage. Chopper, needing some sleep, dropped the cover on his cage and (this time for good) went back to bed.

When I got home, I did get an earful. Url was quite happy to see me, and heard the story of his own misbehavior while perched comfortably on my knee, being rubbed behind his neck. When Chopper would get too near, Url puffed up to look larger and actually — yes — hissed at Chopper between threatening gestures of his beak.

To make a long story short, we decided that Url might be happiest at Elizabeth’s, with me dropping by once a day for a little quality time and nutritional supplementation. Chopper certainly will be.

Chopper is, I think, quite wounded at this rejection. Normally, animals of most kinds (and not a few small children) are quite taken with him, and this antipathy is a little hurtful.

All I have to say:

The parrot likes me.